As a parent or caregiver of a child, ensure you aren’t showing disrespect or blaming your children via name calling. Parents may unintentionally be focusing negatively on the child’s character by calling them lazy, uncooperative, whinny, disrespectful, overly sensitive, just like so and so, stupid, ugly, fat, refer to them as their medical label, etc. This is important to identify, and commit to making a change. Words and phrases matter in family communications.
Once adults view and describe children this way, they lock themselves into a punishing role with the child. Parents who continue to blame and demand will defeat themselves in the relationship they are creating with their children.
A descriptive phrase parent’s use frequently is that their children don’t listen to them. It is important that adults understand that what is really meant won’t obey me.
When I have done workshops and ask for a show of hands from parents about who wants their children to be a lot more obedient, hands shoot up. However, when I then ask parents for a show of hands on how much they like obeying others, rarely is there a hand to be seen.
It is never a good idea to parent children hoping they will understand, forget or forgive how we interacted with them. But it can be a really good idea to explore the topic of obedience and why any of us ever does what someone else wants us to do!
If you would like to talk more about the concept of obedience, children and families, please call or use the contact box.