Parents spend lots of time reading and discussing the developmental stages of their children. But what is often forgotten and isn’t discussed much is that parents have their own distinct stages of parenting that they too go through or get stuck in.
Psychologist, Ellen Galinsky, in 1981 wrote the book Between Generations: The Six Stages of Parenthood in which she explored the dynamic of how raising children influences adult develop via the interactions parents have with their children. While the study was small, over 200 parents, the stages can be useful to explore with parents. Continue reading
As a parent or caregiver of a child, ensure you aren’t showing disrespect or blaming your children via name calling. Parents may unintentionally be focusing negatively on the child’s character by calling them lazy, uncooperative, whinny, disrespectful, overly sensitive, just like so and so, stupid, ugly, fat, refer to them as their medical label, etc. This is important to identify, and commit to making a change. Words and phrases matter in family communications. Continue reading
It is important that everyone in the family understands that change does not occur from the bottom up; family dynamics change from the top down. Parents, who make change, make it possible for children to change; not vice versa.
The onus is always on the adults and not the children. This, of course, is good news as waiting or hoping for children or adults to make a change only leads to increased tensions.
If you always think the way you have always thought
You will always feel the way you have always felt
If you always feel the way you have always felt
You will always do what you have always done
If you always do what you have always done
You will always get what you have always gotten
If there is no change
There is no change
Avoiding the climb leaves you attached to the problem longer.
Both women and men talk about having arguments with others. But few talk about problem solving with others. There are lots of articles and books on fair fighting, but I prefer to delete the phrase fair fighting and have people focus on problem solving and stop the fighting.
If when you have the urge to fight, you do any of these seven suggestions below, chances are better that the problem that is the focus of the argument could be improved. There is a big bonus to actually solving problems which is that once you solve one or two problems, a third or fourth often simply disappear. Continue reading
Dr. William Glasser (1925-2013) constantly reminded everyone who reads any of his books (see Resources) , or who took or is currently taking any of the training in Choice Theory that we can only control ourselves. And when parenting a newly minted teen or one who is further along the path to their 20’s, remembering this or even believing this can be challenging.
The following article will give you seven points that can help build or rebuild a better relationship with teens and youth. Continue reading